Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
