every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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