i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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