you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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