there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
