Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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