I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
