I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
