i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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