Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
