I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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