Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
