just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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