Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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