Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
