sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
