i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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