I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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