yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
