Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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