YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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