pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
last night I used snow as a chaser
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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