Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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