i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
