when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
