I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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