Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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