I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
