I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize