You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
