You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think my moral compass just broke
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