ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
