Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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