I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
