Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
