i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
