How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
