Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
