And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
