Screwed.edu
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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