I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
