i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
