hotel room ftw
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
