READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize