Are we in a gay sports bar?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize