dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
