rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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