In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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