ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
