Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize