I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
