Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
