First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
