I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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