apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
40s are totally the cure
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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