i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
