just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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