he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
