I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
