She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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