I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
