she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize