It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
