I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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