i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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