he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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