My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize