Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
