don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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