do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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