The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
