please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize