I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
