Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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