Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
