How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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