hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
