Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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