You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
