I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm too high and old for this...
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