Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
