i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
