Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
