she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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